What To Do When Your Photography Clients Are Awkward
You meet your clients, and there is an unmistakable awkward vibe from the start. What can you do to save the shoot?
Let’s get this straight from the start: It happens to all photographers, no matter how far they are into their photography career. Sure, it will happen less as you get better at attracting your ideal clients at your ideal price point, but it will still happen here and there.
Next, understand that your clients are probably shy or super nervous. When those anxious feelings overtake the nervous system, they throw people into freeze mode. Their brain goes blank, and they lose the ability to converse like usual. So, don’t take it personally. They probably care so much about the shoot that they are shutting down inside.
It’s your job, as the professional, to make them feel comfortable and help them out of that freeze mode.
Here are 15 tips for how to do it:
Send a Selfie
Text your clients a selfie of you smiling and waving at the camera before you leave so they know who to look for.
We often look very different in person from how we appear in our headshots online. I also let them know when I leave my house so they know I’m on my way. Remember, they’re nervous. This little gesture relieves anxiety over wondering if you will actually show up and who they are looking for. The smile and wave further help them relax, knowing you are friendly and excited about their shoot.
2. Always Arrive First
Now that your clients know who they are looking for and that you are heading to the shoot, you must be there when they arrive, or they will panic, sending their nerves over the top. I’ve seen this play out many times while waiting for my clients. I’ll see a family getting out of their car in clothes that would fit in better at church than the public park where we are actually located. The parents are craning their necks, looking around for the photographer they hired while pulling squirming kids out of the back seat. There are no smiles. The parents start exchanging comments over the top of the car. Sometimes, they glance at me quizzically, wondering if I’m their girl. I can see the annoyance and panic in their expressions as their kids start running around getting dirty. The mom pulls out her phone to text the photographer to find out where they should wait for her. Her eyes dart from the phone to the kids and back again. She shouts a command that her children are ignoring and then goes back to typing. Dad is usually staring at his phone. This is not how a photoshoot should start.
I request my client’s ETA once they’re on the road to ensure I’m in the parking lot when they arrive, waving at them and smiling when they pull in. I want them to be able to spot me right away to further relieve their nerves over where the photographer will be when they arrive.
3. Break the Physical Barrier
Break the physical barrier immediately with a hug or a clasped handshake.
I hug all of my clients. I’ve branded myself as a “hugger.” I didn’t used to hug everyone. Little known fact: I am an introvert. So, hugging people is not my first instinct. It terrified me to start doing this. But, I’ve learned over the years that this is the quickest and easiest way to break the invisible barrier between me and my client's comfort. Think of it like ripping off a bandaid. You get it done right away, and everyone feels more at ease. The act of physically touching someone shows them that you are all in. You will be going in to fix hair and dress straps throughout the session, so you might as well make that physical closeness feel standard right from the get-go.
4. Compliment
Always greet your clients excitedly with a compliment. Second only to locating the photographer, your clients are nervous about how they look. Never lie! If they didn’t follow your style guide and you know their outfits limit what you can do with them, compliment their makeup, hairstyle, or jewelry. Right after hugging with your greeting, ask, “Did you do your makeup yourself?! Wow! Your lashes!!!” There is always something you can genuinely compliment. This also gets them smiling immediately, which can trick their brain into believing they are already having fun. People like people who compliment them. Having clients who feel genuinely liked can dramatically affect the awkwardness level of even the stiffest shoot.
5. Take Control
Don’t allow your clients to decide where to go on the shoot. Start right away with a pre-determined plan. After hugging and complimenting them, get walking and tell them the plan you have come up with for the shoot: “We’ll start over there, and then we’ll want to head to that spot before the light changes, and we’ll end at the overlook right after the sun sets.”
Some might think this is controlling, but you are a professional. Your clients want to be able to rely on you to do the heavy lifting. Remember, the clients don’t understand lighting. That’s why they hired you. If you don’t take control right away with your pre-determined plan, your clients will, and they will inevitably want to take photos inside the gazebo (the worst lighting scenario ever). This freedom leaves them open to focus on keeping the kids clean and getting to know you better to form a real connection. Less responsibility means more relaxed, less awkward clients.
6. Remember…
Even with the best marketing, only some clients will be a perfect match. They may have booked with you based on a recommendation and didn’t do much research first. Your personality may be a shock! In that case, move on to number seven.
7. Match Energy
I greet my clients like a ball of energy. This is a purposeful tactic to help get them excited and let them know I am excited to work with them. I’m hoping they will match my energy. More energy is never a bad thing on a photo shoot.
Sometimes, my clients don’t match my energy and remain quiet, answering my “get to know you better” questions with one-word answers. These are my ultra-shy, introverted people. So, to connect with them, I need to tone it down and meet them where they are. I tend to talk more about myself at a slower pace until I find a topic they are more willing to discuss. As the shoot progresses, I will attempt to bring the energy up, but if it never happens, that’s okay!
8. Ask Probing Questions
While you walk from place to place at your location, ask open-ended questions to get them talking about themselves. This will help you get to know them better and give you options for talking points of connection where you can also similarly speak about yourself and learn about what is truly important to them to serve them more fully from your heart.
9. Never Stop Talking
You might give excellent instructions to get your clients into a pose, but the second you pull your camera up to your face and stop talking, they feel awkward and don’t know what to do. They look at you for directions or stop smiling because it feels weird.
Keep talking!!!
Keep them moving by giving little tweak instructions to the pose or changing where they should have their hands or where they should look. If you need them to hold a pose, say so, compliment them, tell them how amazing they look, and comment on how strange that must feel, but “Keep holding it anyway! {laughing}” That way, they keep smiling.
Think of posing like a YouTube gamer constantly talking with no breaks.
When you are walking from place to place together, you should also keep talking. Not at the same speed and intensity, but you want the conversation to continue fluidly.
10. Make Eye Contact and Smile
It’s easy to get lost in the task of scanning the environment for locations in beautiful light. This is why it’s best to make your plan for the shoot before the clients arrive. You want to pay more attention to them than the location. Be sure to continue to bring your eye gaze back to them as you walk together. And don’t forget to SMILE!
11. Only Positive Feedback
No matter what your clients do, it’s correct and amazing. If I had a dollar for every time I heard, “We’re not good at posing ourselves.” I would be a rich woman! This comment comes from a place of uncertainty and can be the source of awkwardness in your clients. They are worried they will be “bad” at taking pictures.
The quickest way to shut your clients down and validate their fear is to give a posing instruction and follow it up with, “No, not like that!” These words are your fast pass to Awkward Town. Your clients will feel like they did something wrong and are being scolded.
If you tell your client to put her hands on his neck and she puts them on his arms, you’ll say, “Yes, that’s great! {Take the picture} NOW, go ahead and slide your hands all the way up to his neck so that your thumbs are right in front of his ear lobes, and you are cradling his head in your hands. PERFECT!”
12. Add Movement
Awkwardness shows up as stiff joints in the body. Humans stiffen up and “get small” when they are nervous. Spot the stiff joints and direct the posing to correct them. Use wording like “soften your fingers” and “put a bend in your knee.” Even the stiffest person can appear casual and confident given the correct instructions to move. Starting with walking poses can also help clients loosen up their stiffness.
13. Don’t Push a Dramatic Pose
Don’t pressure them to do poses that don't work for their comfort and body types. While a bit of discomfort is expected when posing, pain and shame should not be part of the experience. Check-in with your clients to see whether a dramatic pose you are thinking about directing them into is something they want to try before going for it. I always ask before directing a lift or melted kiss, which involves lifting and fully supporting each other’s weight.
14. Show Them the Back of Your Camera
Sometimes, all an awkward client group needs is to see the results on the back of your camera. Showing the clients how amazing they look can be just the reassurance they need to loosen up and trust you 100% for the rest of the shoot.
15. Address Each Person Individually
Sometimes, one person does all the talking. Even though it can be easy for you to keep up the conversation with this one person while ignoring the awkward person, I like to make an honest attempt to connect with each person in a client group. If one person is being quiet and stiff in the posing process, at some point, I’ll talk directly to them specifically and attempt to find a topic I can speak intelligently on with that person as we walk from spot to spot. This helps them feel seen and heard on the shoot, and they typically loosen up after that point.
Each participant is important! Your chances of getting re-hired are significantly higher if everyone likes you and has fun. Even if the person who hired you from the group enjoyed the shoot and loved the photos, if another person didn’t have a good time, the one who hired you may feel a responsibility to try another photographer next time in an attempt to appease their partner or family member.
If you’ve done all these things and your clients are still not responding well, it’s most likely not you at all. It’s possible they had an argument on the way to the shoot, or something was going on under the surface that they didn’t clue you into. And that’s okay. Do your best to serve well so that you can deliver your photos with confidence at the end of the experience together.
What was the most helpful tip? Comment below.
Xx - Megan Hoffer